“Spider-Man kicked me, and She-Ra took Maggie’s snack.”

One Fine Day (1996)

Never a favorite, but it’s got peak Caesar-hair Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold.

Natalie Merchant singing a slow version of “One Fine Day.” I had convinced myself it was Norah Jones, although this movie was before her era of domination.

Opening Hitchcock-esque shot: A man playing piano. A golden retriever waiting at the door! An old couple together. Michelle Pfeifer paying bills with envelopes and a checkbook!

But here’s the thing: Mae Whitman is Maggie.

Clooney is on the side of a bus! Daily News advertisement: “You don’t know Jack.” But Carrie Bradshaw knows good sex*

*(and isn’t afraid to ask). Wait! SATC started in ’98. I couldn’t help but wonder: Did they callback to One Fine Day for the opening credits?

Kids go to Montessori and the school bus actually passes both parent-child sets before they all meet up at the pier.

“You know, I have a day.” Michelle, giving some excellent bitch. “Derived? You must be a writer.” But just look at her!

Exquisite.

A Hilary Clinton joke! “A real superwoman: can’t open her door, won’t shut her mouth.” “Excuse me? Are you talking about me?” “The first lady. We’re thinking about doing a piece on her.” Sigh. I wish this were more relevant.

The kids miss the field trip. My mom used to let me skip mine. I never visited the state capitol until I did so willingly as an adult.

HOLLAND FUCKING TAYLOR is Michelle Pfeiffer’s mom!!! I’d totally forgotten this. She plays a mean Ann Richards. I love her. And I want a spring spa day.

“Maggie, when you grow up and are incredibly beautiful and intelligent and possess a certain sweetness that’s…that’s like a distant promise to the brave, to the worthy, could you please not beat to a pulp every miserable bastard that comes your way simply because you can? Could you not do that?” I kinda love this.

Remember Amanda Peet?

Jack’s editor has a cat in his desk drawer! “This is Lois Lane. She lives here in the news room.” Annndd…she eats the fish. I never noticed that.

A lot of split screens in this film.

“You know you’re not the only with a day. I’ve got a day too.” Clooney, trying and failing to bring the bitch.

Drinks at 21! That and the voyeurism of the opening and closing sequences is a callback to Rear Window.

Spanish-speaking maid giving Clooney some issues. Just use Denzel’s trick from Inside Man—yell in the street until someone who speaks that language helps you.

I want a spring spa day!

“But you’re not a control freak?” “No, I’m a single working mother.” Oh, right…I was supposed to be looking out for that.

Serendipity-esque Serendipity frozen hot chocolate…for which Michelle Pfeiffer does not pay the bill.

And you have a cat now.

“You know nothing about politics. You know nothing about journalism. You and your little friend in the outfit…”

“Say it for your kind.” Gross, Clooney. You lost me.

“First of all, I thrust my column in your face because I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen in my entire life and…I…I wanted to make a good impression.” Dammit, he got me back.

I want a travel hot brush.

“Lois Lane ate the class fish.”

“It’s so obvious, Daddy.” And he’s fishing in the pet store fish tank barehanded, like a bear…

More Michelle!

Velociraptor! Rawwwrrrr!

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